Today Edmund and I went to Story Time at the Euless Library! We try to make it every week. I really enjoy going to the library and chatting with all of the “regulars”. Today was Maggie’s last day. Her grandma usually brings her, but her family is moving to Grand Prairie so now she will go to that library. I felt sad when Maggie and her Grandma left. It is funny how you become so attached to people, even when you only see them for 45 minutes once a week. I will miss them.
A little boy named Paris (please, don’t get me started. I am trying not to be judgey) who lives in Euless has traveled the world with his parents collecting rare bugs. They are all on display at the library! If you live in the area you should definitely go check it out! Edmund really enjoyed it!
Looking at all of the butterflies.
Nope, you can’t eat that buddy.
I didn’t let Edmund near this one…yuck.
This past weekend was so beautiful here in North Texas. We decided to take a drive out to White Rock Lake. It is about 30 minutes away, but worth it! I have always been very unimpressed with the Texas landscape, Travis says it is because I haven’t been to see the good parts of Texas…But, White Rock Lake is so nice! We brought our lunch and sat on a big hill that overlooks the water. It would have been more relaxing if we didn’t have to keep stopping Edmund from trying to eat all the grass and leaves. When do babies stop doing that? I don’t want him to be the weird kid that eats glue…
White Rock Lake
Catching Edmund before he grabs another handful of grass.
He is mad at me for not letting him crawl off the blanket.
Travis and Edmund
People Watching.
Edmund and Mommy
Squirmy baby.
The other day I was on the phone with my mom and I told her that I needed to run to the store to grab some milk. A few minutes later she asked what I was doing. I told her I was in the car driving to get milk. She was shocked and impressed. Shocked because only a few months ago I was terrified of leaving the house with Edmund, even if someone was there to help me. Going to church was the most I could manage. I would wake up at 6 a.m. and barely be ready to leave at 11 a.m. for 11:30 mass.
Remembering those days makes me laugh now. But, at the time, it was a very emotional ordeal to go anywhere. My diaper bag weighed more than Edmund and was packed with a million useless things. Travis insisted on packing at least 20 diapers. I had pacifiers that he never sucked on, toys he had no interest in, nipple cream, wipes, diaper rash cream, gas drops, nursing pads, a nursing cover, extra clothes, 5 burp clothes, granola bars, peanut butter crackers, a water bottle, etc…Just packing that thing took forever!
I would feed Edmund, lay him down, shower super fast, feed Edmund, lay him down, fix my hair, cry because I had nothing to wear and only maternity clothes fit, feed Edmund to make sure he would last the car ride to wherever we were going, cry, change my outfit, check the diaper bag. Always some variation of that routine. There were always tears, always multiple feedings, tons of anxiety, and I was exhausted before we even left the house. It literally took me 2 hours to prepare to go anywhere. My first trip to Mom’s Group was when Edmund was just over a month old. I spent the whole morning getting ready and left an hour early so I could go to grocery store and buy a snack to bring. I was a sweaty mess by the time I got there. I sat thinking to myself: was it this difficult for all the other moms?
I needed new contacts pretty soon after Edmund was born. I made an appointment, went through my routine, made myself super anxious, and arrived just in time for my appointment. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I thought maybe this one time Edmund would sit nicely in his car seat. I prayed he would. He started to fuss as soon as we got there and the eye doctor was clearly uncomfortable. The receptionist came in and asked if she could hold Edmund for me. I felt embarrassed. I must have looked like such an idiot. What a n00b. She took him and he literally cried the entire time…and by cried I mean he screamed like he was dying a slow, painful death. It was awful. I am surprised I can even see out of the contacts I was prescribed. I was barely paying attention to the doctor as I listened to my baby scream in the other room. I heard people come in and ask if everything was OK. I just wanted to run out of there.
As soon as I was done and I took Edmund back he curled up in my arms and fell asleep. I am not kidding you when I say it was literally within seconds of being given back to me he was out. I did that laugh/cry thing where you smile while tears fall down your face. I had gone to the optometrist in Super Target so while Edmund slept I brought his car seat back to the car and then walked around Target. I needed hot dog buns. I also treated myself to a package of Chips Ahoy cookies, which I later consumed by myself.
These days going out is nothing. I run here and there with Edmund, only working around his naps. We go to Story Time, the park, the zoo, the grocery store, the post office. We pick up the boys after school every day. Over time leaving the house with Edmund has become easier. We still have the occasional rough outing, and I am sure those will continue as he continues to become more mobile.
Being a new mom comes with many challenges…learning to leave the house with a baby was a big one for me. Every time I see a girl with a brand new baby in a store alone I want to give her a hug. I want to tell her that it gets easier. I want to help her do her shopping, be the extra pair of hands she needs. But, sometimes I see girls in the store with tiny babies fast asleep in their car seats. And I think, what the buns did I do wrong? Maybe she is just having a lucky moment where the stars have aligned and her kid is sleeping for once?
My diaper bag currently contains 3 diapers, wipes (sometimes…sometimes I forget to refill the box), a nursing cover I never use, a hand full of toys, a book light that Edmund likes to chew on, tissues, crumbs, receipts, my wallet, lip gloss, a Mothers Prayer Book, some election flyers, my chapel veil, and a granola bar. I pack much lighter these days. I am even thinking of transitioning back to a purse! I enjoy getting out of the house to see friends or run errands. I love our weekly trips to Story Time and Mom’s group. I am savoring these moments because I am sure that once we have more kids I will have to readjust, I just hope there are less tears!
Edmund is ready to go!
Ain't Too Proud 
Oh yeah, I have definitely been there! Ria hated the car, so every time I wanted to leave the house, I had to time it so carefully. It was so hard trying to do anything. I wonder if it will be as hard with the next kid.
I hope not Katie! We kept Edmund in the extra car seat padding too long, and didn’t adjust the straps…Once we did that he seemed much more comfortable in the seat, but it wasn’t until he was old enough to entertain himself with a toy that he really started to do better!